So in this video I would like to share with yet another story.
But before I share this story with you I'm just going to introduce you to the reason why I tell stories
and this is going to be important for you to understand this model I would like to introduce you to
it's called the storytelling triangle.
No.
I don't know where you stand in life.
I don't know if you like stories or not and may be the case.
You're right you're frowning at me right now saying something along the lines of Jane stop telling stories.
Just give us information.
Well unfortunately this isn't how the world moves forward.
The world doesn't move forward through people just giving each other information.
The world moves forward through all everything from the stories of the highs and lows and successes
on the failures of people who've come and gone before in our pasts.
This has historically always been the case.
Stories have historically always been used to transmit the understandings from one generation of people
onto the next.
And this is why history is such a huge area of study for so many people.
People look to the past to learn lessons so that hopefully in the future history doesn't repeat itself
and make the same mistakes in the future as what it's made in the past and what is true in the realms
of study in history is true for us in the context of a day to day life.
We are all there through stories.
But bear in mind some people just have slightly different preferences when it comes to learning styles
than other people.
And as life coaches I've already mentioned are really must stress this it is crucial that we become
flexible in our learning style because if we are not flexible in our one learning style then other people
our clients are going to see us as staunch and rigid.
And for many people completely unrelatable story is an ambiguity that can be offered to people through
stories is what Wikinews as one tool was one method that we can use to to connect and gain and win the
trust of other people where other people through our stories will feel within themselves are asking
just roll it to that guy.
He he understands me.
He just knows where I am right now.
This does not mean that we just go on yes some story books and just plucking some random stories out
of thin air.
It means that we integrate and a realm off of humility and transparency and authenticity and congruence
into our stories.
And this is what worried I'm just like take a few moments here to unpack and explain.
The word incongruence was initially introduced to the world by a guy called Carl Rogers old psychologist
who focussed mainly in the area of therapeutic counselling.
More of a person centred approach talking therapies.
This was his main area of expertise.
I'm going to be recommending one of his books in the latter section of the course.
No we encourage Roger was discussing this idea of congruency.
He was giving reference to was living our lives in this constant state of authenticity where were not
being false were being completely transparent and fully ourselves.
No this is really relevant because if you think about what I shared with you in the last video I shared
with yet who I am so shared I'm honest I'm loving and caring I'm giving I'm creative and all these sorts
of things I'm growing and developing.
Hence the reason I can produce and create courses like that's when they would have scrapped because
of not just written information and tell your stories from my own life things that have happened to
me at some point in the past that I've grown to learn lessons.
If I shared these stories in an effective way through this storytelling triangle then you're hopefully
going to see what I see so congruences is all about my transparency and tell and stories that I fundamentally
understand in view of relating to you more effectively.
Or are you feeling that you can relate to me more effectively because the purpose of the story is to
connect the dots between you and your audience or you and your client or you are not there and are or
are you and your child or are you and your partner or husband or wife or whoever it is that you want
to connect with in a deeper and more profound level.
This is a storytelling triangle and is absolute key no.
At this stage of the course he may be thinking to yourself right Kane.
All of this stuff is very vague and ambiguous and whereas all going well you might even be asking yourself
Kane what qualifications have you got.
What qualifies you stand here and teach us all about life coaching and how I would like to respond to
this is through telling you a story because as life coaches people are going to come to you with all
their problems.
And some people in life are going to feel.
Like they've dug themselves or they've fallen into a really big hole.
Janelle I mean by HALL Has it ever been a time in your life where you felt like you were just stuck
in a hole you were in this hole yet whole again.
You felt overwhelmed by it and no matter how hard you tried you just couldn't get out yet and look what
to do.
Well there was this guy.
One day he was walking up the road and to be honest he wasn't really paying too much attention as to
where he was going.
He was looking around looking at all these opportunities thinking what he was going to do with his life
until he fell in a hole.
No the hallways saw wide by saw deep and he was quite a fair and agile young guy but he just wasn't
quite able to get himself out of the.
And to be honest with you to begin with he was stubborn.
He thought he'd have to be able to shimmy as we are or Geto somehow perhaps jump.
But after a few words he began getting tyred and self-esteem became a little bit shaky.
He started to question am I going to be able to get over this whole or not.
And as his self-esteem plummeted he was down this hall.
He didn't really know what to do.
He didn't want to call out for help because he didn't want anyone else to see him as being weak.
So a few more words passed it was no Later in the afternoon.
The guy was getting hungry and the rain just started to come on.
What he quickly became aware of was that the whole start filling up with water.
When the whole Star filling up the water his feet were cold and wet and I thought okay I need some help
here I need some help.
So we started calling out to help help anyone.
Can anyone hear me can anyone help me help help.
Trying to be as my family is what he could to save a better face and as it happened there was our counsellor.
We were just walking up the street a therapeutic counsellor and she just finished working for the day
and and she heard the calls and the cries coming from the hall.
So she walked over to the Horseshoe.
She looked down and she says well young man you've fallen into a hole and the guy says Yeah yeah a half
look em.
Kenya can you help me out here please I've fallen down this hole and I don't know how to get out.
So the counsellor just sat down on the edge of the hall and said look I've got 45 minutes.
Tell me how does it feel being in the hole.
And the guy thought about it and thought it was pretty cold and wet down here and it's lonely.
And I don't know how to get out.
And then what he unconsciously started doing was just focussing on his problem.
So he was no fool he forecast to be in stock down the hall 45 minutes later the counsellors watch started
beeping.
He beat it and says Sorry that's a time for this week.
Listen if you're still stuck in the hall this time next week please give me a show.
When I'm on the way past I'll be more than happy to have another session with you at this point.
Here the guy was down the hall up to the crushed thinking about it was a motions and everything that
was wrong with his life.
And then he had another week to look forward to another conversation.
So he was he was crushed.
So the whole he heard a few footsteps.
A doctor was walking past.
So he jumped to his feet and he started calling out.
Doctor Doctor please please help over here help.
I'm stuck down a hall.
I don't know how to get out.
Can you help.
And the doctor walked over said All young man you've fallen into a hole all by a by a wall means.
More than happy to help you out.
Swee this is Tell Me How does it feel in down the hall.
And how long you've been in the hall.
And has it been a time when you weren't in the hall and.
Okay.
So let me just right so a prescription and the doctor went on to write a prescription.
After five minutes proceeded to fold over throw into the hall and then he said sir if symptoms processed.
Come back in see me this time next week.
And all right yet another prescription.
And at this point he know the guy down the hall was absolutely crushed.
He tried talking to a counsellor to a therapist.
He tried going to the dog though his own problems still remained.
He was still stuck down the hole.
He didn't know how to get out.
And as it was still raining the hole was filling up with water fast.
So he felt under pressure he felt like time was running out.
So day today and tonight.
And I got through and were half past seven and there was one of me outside of the hall walking down
the road and he could just hear these whispers coming from the halls.
We walked over and he looked down.
He said hey see down there hope you get there.
And the guy who was then who looked for on the for Dennis Hall.
I'm stuck.
I dunno how to get out.
Can you help.
And the guy says Yeah sure absolutely no problem whatsoever.
He got down on his knees and then jumped into the hole with him but the guy who was originally down
the hall.
He stepped up and said look what are you doing.
I've been stopped though this whole all day.
And I don't know how to get out.
Why did you do this.
You stupid.
No we're both stuck down this hall.
And a guy who jumped into a hole with them says Yeah but look I've been down this hole before and I
know how to get out.
So what does this story mean for you because this story for me is the very essence of life coaching
is the very essence of congruence.
In the next video or I'm going to share with you a bit more of my personal background a bit more of
my own story.
All right.
So that you can understand what it is that qualifies me to be standing here for you right now.
But we also understand a whole because whilst in life all of our holes are always going to be different.
All we ever have is our own perception of things that are all experiences.
This is fundamentally what differentiates us all in life.
And whilst I'm never going to fully understand your story I can and I do understand my own which means
that whilst I'm not going to know what it's like being you walking away or when your shoes are going
to be elements of your story through which um to which I'm going to be able to perfectly relate.
And this is one of the core skills that we can really do with get our heads around and offering other
people us life coaches.
This is a beginner to an advanced course but this story hopefully paints a picture off of what authentic
and congruent life coaching looks like I've already mentioned there's no rules you can get the stuff
wrong.
And if you genuinely do care about people then you are going to be able to see whether in the hall and
when you see someone else is in a hole you're in a lurch really just going to want to get yourself in
there and help them out which are they going to be able to do if you've been down you're whole and you've
already got yourself out of your hole.
No in the second last section of the course I want to share with you a seven step coaching framework.
All right.
If you're able to relate and apply in the context of your own life is going to qualify you to jump into
any hall that anyone else finds themselves in life this summer.
How deep does a mar.
How wide.
But in the next video I'm going to share with you my personal story so you can understand my hall and
see how you are able to more imperfectly relate to me.
So look forward to seeing you in the next clep.